Its Killing Inside

Its killing me inside.
I'm unable to subside,
the wish to to give away
in return to the guru's grace.

Its killing me inside,
I'm unable to subside,
I lack vocabulary to discribe
the mystery of the guru's grace.

Its killing me inside,
I'm unable to subside,
The wish to be with him
in the lap of the master

Of what help can i be?
How can I pay him back?
To have come close to him,
Is a fortune of fortunes!